Thursday, June 11, 2009

I'm not a super hero

Sometimes i feel like getting into competing in fitness and figure has been one of the worst things i have ever done. I wonder when the day will come when its ok (with me) to live , look and eat like everyone else. I feel like i have caused people to have  huge expectations of me, they always want to see how i look and what i eat. I, myself, am annoyingly aware of how i look and what i eat and yes i do feel guilty when i don't make the best choices or put on a few pounds, but to have people say "i can't wait to see what YOU order" when out to eat is a stab in my heart. I love that i can inspire others to be healthier but, the people pleaser in me is scared that i will disappoint the ones i inspire if i don't look and eat a certain way.  When asked what do you EAT?!, how shocked they are when i tell them i'm no different then anyone else. I, probably more then most try to live a balanced life. Competing is so off  to one end that when i'm not getting ready to get on stage i try to live every day as balanced as possible and enjoy  the family bar-b-q's , birthdays, nights out with friends, baseball games.... i still workout nearly everyday but really hate myself on the days i don't feel like getting out of bed! Some might look at this like "thats good you need to stay active and fit and healthy. i wish i could make myself  go workout" but to live with the feeling of disappointing the people around you and yourself can't be good right? I live to inspire others and teach them balance in life but wonder if in the end this will be what kills my spirit...the feeling other letting  the ones i want to inspire down because i'm not a super hero. You may laugh at that last comment but its true, someone once said to me..." i forget you are human"

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

June 10 120.5

5:00am 2 scoops of cyto-whey, 1/2 scoop of muscle milk
30mins of step mill

8:30 protein pancake

2:45pm  5oz of ground turkey,3/4 cup of rice (white) 1/2 cup of chopped aspargus

5:30 peach

7:30 1 corona,  few tortilla chips and salsa, steak salad
was out to dinner with long time friends!
few jelly beans on the ride home. 

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

june 9 123lbs

6:00am 2 scoops of cyto-whey, 1/2 scoop of muscle milk
11:00am protein pancake
2:45pm 5oz of ground turkey w/diced tomato, 5 aspargus stalks, 3/4 cup of rice (white)
3:45pm 30mins on step mill
4:30pm leg workout
5:30pm apple
7:45 5oz grilled chicken breast,sliced cucumbers and radishes 
sugarfree creamsicle (20 cals.)

Monday, June 8, 2009

june 8th 122.5lbs

6:00 2 scoops of cyto-whey, 1/2 scoop of muscle milk.
9:00 protein pancake
11:30 spin class
12:30 1/2 cup of cottage cheese and 5oz sweet potato 
2:45 (i was hungry!) 5oz of ground turkey cooked with a can of diced tomatoes, 3/4 cup of rice (white), 5 stalks of asparagus 
6pm apple
7:30 3 hard boiled eggs (yolks too!) 1/2 cup of broccoli
sugar free creamsicle  (20 cals)

Sunday, June 7, 2009


june 7th 2009/ 125lbs
6:00am 1/2 cup of oatmeal, mised 1 scoop of bio -whey and 2 Tbl spoons of sugarefree jelly.

9:00am protein pancake

11:30am 6oz chicken breast 3 strawberries. (would of had more berries but they were old and soft. yuck!)

12:30pm diet /sugarfree Rockstar  and a cranberry Kind bar. (can be found at kingsoopers)

3:30pm peach

6:oopm 4oz salmon 1 1/2 cup of greean beans