Week 12- I did it!

night before i leave!

ok just a quick check in

i was 110.4 lbs this morning.

my posing coach said i was ready and he was impressed.

cravings were bad today.

here's a picture of the "trash" i bought to bring to the hotel and eat After the show. I couldn't decided on any special but know i'll want something. the thing is that not matter what i eat it won't live up to the expectation or satisfy, so i never eat my favorite things right away. Gosh just thinking about how bad these little treats are for you...might not eat anything but the cliff bars.

got my suit fixed, it looks really good and somehow crawled over another hill. (thanks Laura Richards)

still things to do and it getting late....

week 11- even my shoes are to big!

weight

5/8- 124.8

5/15- 120.2

5/22- 120.2

5/29- 121

6/5- 116.8

6/12- 117

6/19- 117.6

6/26- 115

7/3- 113

7/10- 112

7/17- 110.8

7/24- 114

even my shoes are too big! that being said...I almost lost it last night after a nightmare of a week. If there would have been anything in my cupboards, freezer, fridge i would have eaten it, anything. well i did eat whatever i could find!

The week started out fantastic, i felt wonderful after my photo shoot. i knew my weight was to low last weekend and planned a cheat meal after my photo shoot. i went to Noodles and Company and got some Mac and Cheese with extra cheese sauce, chicken, tomatoes and mushrooms. A huge rice crispy treat for dessert! Yup! its true! AND while i was waiting for my food i ate a chocolate chip cookie! i felt great and had tons of energy the next day. from there my the suit maker called and said my suit was not ready for pick-up. She did this four times this week and when i finally got my suit....not good... lets just say i'm 3 days from leaving to Vegas and i still don't have a suit to wear. My choreographer canceled our finally appointment to clean and fix my routine. i met with some wonderful locally trainers and did get to practice posing and my routine with them, but they said my routine was to short and though they have been a blessing, helping me with advice on my posing i left feeling skinny, squishy and hopeless. not sure if i mentioned my training coach left me at about week 4. (thats a story not to share here, i respect him and don't want to bash.) so last night i was told to keep eating and feeling like a wet noodle or should i say a piece of angle hair pasta. (noodle would be way bigger) i imedately throw a sweet potatoe in the microwave and ate it in a matter of seconds, next came the brown rice cakes...6 or maybe even 8 of them, i lost count. opening and closing every food storage unit over and over again i finally found 2 very old protein bars...ate them and way in the back of my freezer...Andes' Candies! SCORE!! ate about 8-10 of those." whoa nelly, what the heck was happening? what am i doing?!" finally i came to my senses, i was full i looked like i had a basketball in my gut!

what now....

woke up even more confused. do more cardio? cut carbs? ... i decided just to keep moving forward, 5am cardio, eggwhites, 2 brown rice cakes (which i didn't want after overdosing on them last night) and then spin class... during cardio i messaged my posing coach who i see on wednesday, he hasn't seen me in almost 4 weeks and was in another state competing himself. i hated to bother him but was desperate.

after cardio i was walking through the gym and the head guy, chairman, promoter for all our competitions here in Colorado stop and said..."Doneker you look great!" "You are ready, don't do to much more." HAPPY DANCE!! i didn't ruin my hard work! yea!! not long after that i get a return message with some specific instructions on what to do for the next 3 days! and some encouraging words. " don't worry i see you wednesday and will make sure you are right where you need to be when you step on stage." so my head is back on and i feel good again.

back to business tomorrow, i thought i was going to stop cardio but nope 3 more days. so nothing is changing and that feels comfortable.

By now you all know how much i love baking. and recently i have been noticing how all these heavenly treats are being served. I now have an obsession with cake stands, and different ways to serve baked goods. It makes ordinary cookies seem so much more, its all about the presentation! and i'll take that to the stage next saturday and maybe i'll have the right presentation! in the end i'm SOOO ready to move forward with my life. Start baking again, antique hunting for cool cake stands and being social with people who mean so much to me and have missed these last 11 weeks!

maybe when this is done i'll start blogging about my adventures in the kitchen....

high five to the last 6 days!!

week 10- good one!

weight

5/8- 124.8

5/15- 120.2

5/22- 120.2

5/29- 121

6/5- 116.8

6/12- 117

6/19- 117.6

6/26- 115

7/3- 113

7/10- 112

7/17- 110.8

i'll write when i gots some time but right now a girl has got to get to bed!

ended the week with a fabulous photo shoot and if this all ended today i would feel happy and satisfied!

muah!

week 9- 20 DAYS!

weight

5/8- 124.8

5/15- 120.2

5/22- 120.2

5/29- 121

6/5- 116.8

6/12- 117

6/19- 117.6

6/26- 115

7/3- 113

7/10- 112

Thats what i keep telling myself "20 days" I"m getting real tired and about thursday i started getting hungry, i lick my plate and scoff every scrap of food i can find. i feel strong in the mornings and get some killer cardio in even thinking " i got this and even after the show i will continue with the program" by 2 in the afternoon reality hits and i and having a super duper hard time getting through my second session of cardio. i just keep saying "20 more days" just get on the step mill and move your feet. A big hurdle was tossed in front of me on tuesday, the gym i work at informed me i can no longer get my workout in during my shift. SO now i have to stay late... i'm talking 9pm-ish to get it in, i'm a walking zombie at this point (my first work out is at 4am) and my workouts have suffered. i feel a little betrade by my gym. they know i have a contest to comepete in , 3 weeks, why can't they give me 3 weeks to reach my gaol? Not to mention the members LOVE to watch me work out. They always tell me how i inspire them, how amazed they are at my hard work. Well i was really, really upset about this for a few days but, what can i do? its only "20 days" i give what i can and beyond that its out of my hands. As i head into week 10 i'm starting to get the "you are tiny" comments. its normal by the end of the week people will be telling me to go eat...i have to get that lean to create the "look" for stage. I still need my waist to come in a little and tighter in the legs.

the colorado state champions is this week end and i have a photo shoot set for sunday so i just got to get through the first of the week and hopefully the shoot and watching others compete will carry me through the last 10 days. some people think i'm on the down slide and it should be getting easier, well i will tell you it doesn't get easier as you go but harder. the body gets run down, hungry/cravings really start to take over and being so close your mind says " oh heck your close just give in a little" i will be digging deep this week! If anyone wants to join me for cardio it helps! even if you just stand there and talk to me! (thanks alyse!)

SO on to the pictures these are cake pops, on monday the girls at Fedex (my morning job for those who dont know, i work to much!)anyways the girls were talking about these "cake pops" i google them and now its has become my new craving.I think this has to do with how easy they are to make. i usually cook a lot during contest prep but haven't trusted myself this time not to eat what i bake so i've held off on my hobby of baking. These cake pops seems so easy to make i just can't wait to try them out!

i'm also starting to worry about the after effects of being on a such a strict eating program for soo long. Yes i have to put some weight back on, its just not healthy to live like this, my body and brain will shut down, as amazing as it is to see my body get tight and muscular, i do have to return to the normal healthy weight. Thats a huge mental game. One of the reasons i got out of the sport. ill get more into that in a later post for now i have to go cook my cod and head to the gym for another cardio session.

have a great week people and when you don't feel like exercising or eating healthy this week think of me..."what would Doneker do?" right Nina!! :)

hey, 20 MORE DAYS!!

week 8 - cruise control

well i don't have much to report this week. I had a good week feeling strong and seeing improvements. I'm in a good routine with both my work outs and my food intake. I'll cruise through this week and then start to dial in the fine details next week. I'll most likely drop another 3 pounds. I'm trying to figure out what food i need to bring to Vegas with me and how i'm going to get it there...check a cooler full of egg whites???

i guess a mellow week is good right now!

weight

5/8- 124.8

5/15- 120.2

5/22- 120.2

5/29- 121

6/5- 116.8

6/12- 117

6/19- 117.6

6/26- 115

7/3- 113